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"Toxic People" And Why You Need To Stop Saying That.

"Toxic People", "Toxic Person", "They're Toxic" 

You've seen these terms bandied around social media, books, workshops, you name it, they have very much become common language in our everyday conversations and environments. And that's a problem. Why? Because, if you are using these terms, you're just not thinking. Period.

Look, this isn't a judgement of you if you are using these terms, rather a reality check. Cut this stuff out of your vocabulary immediately. Firstly, you're trashing the very first ideal of personal growth, i.e. you're more interested in analyzing others than yourself. Wind your neck in. Focus on you.

Secondly, you're separating yourself from people when you use alienating language like this. You're dehumanizing others.

Thirdly. Have you ever considered what you are doing to yourself, who you are becoming in relating to other people in this way? This impacts you in ways you cannot imagine.

Lastly, in life, people can be assholes. It would be a big mistake for you to forget that you are people too.

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9 comments


  • I can’t help thinking that I have attracted these whacked people myself, by having low self esteem maybe, but I’m surrounded by them, and I feel like I’m going down a rabbit hole sometimes, not falling into their trap, is a constant threat, I need to keep my own mind straight and stay focused, which is challenging !

    Bondo on

  • I was hoping this piece would be a bit more fleshed out, but that being said, I completely agree with the article, and strongly disagree with Kim, in regards to most relationships.

    I have observed two different relationships in my life (others, not mine), where at least one person called the other toxic. None of these people were bad, but all were blind to their part in the issue, especially the one to use the word ’"toxic", and they were also the most defensive and angry.

    So these “healthy” people who want to stay away from the “toxic” people aren’t all that healthy themselves, actually. They just have trouble looking in the mirror and dealing with their own character defects. Just my experience.

    Mkb on

  • This sounds like An article written by a pissed off toxic person. Pissed off that they can’t change and blaming healthy people for wanting to stay away. I dont have to subject myself to these kinds of people just to grow some character. That is a lie. Only when I have to deal with them do I deal with them. I’m not judging them for being toxic, I just don’t want associate with their bullshit.

    Kim on

  • Secondly, you’re separating yourself from people when you use alienating language like this. You’re dehumanizing others.

    Yes. I am so grateful for this article. my entire family labelled me toxic and cut me out. I have been so mystified and endlessly hurt and misunderstood for decades with this term…… I’m just like….. look at yourself as you label me toxic? relationships involve more than one person? i feel like crying just thinking about this horrible term. i can’t stand it…. so many people have cut me out of their life because they feel justified because in their head i am toxic………. it is like an epidemic or horrible

    em on

  • Hooray! If everyone starts judging others as toxic, the world will be full of lonely people. Communicate. Work things out. Forgive and look for the good in people. Blessed are the merciful.

    Linda on


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